Grief events in Olympia
I am hosting regular grief events in Olympia through my project the Alliance for Common Ground.
Background on Grief and Grief Rituals
Martin Prechtel’s talk “Grief and Praise” is a seminal work. He is an indigenous elder with native american and mayan roots. As is his book The Smell of Rain on Dust. The audio book is great. He goes in depth into the indigenous frame of grief, and addiction.
Francis Weller is probably the leading American elder in the space. Joanna Macy would be the other one. Anderson Cooper started a grief podcast and interviewed Francis in 2023. He also held a talk with Francis in 2025. And basically everyone who is engaged in community grief rituals has read Francis Weller’s book The Wild Edge of Sorrow.
The PNW is a hotbed of this culture due largely to the work of two West African elders, Malidoma and Sobonfu Somé. They taught a cohort of Americans in the 90s and 2000s (like Francis Weller and Therese Charvet) who are now teaching the younger generations. Malidoma’s books: Ritual and Of Water and the Spirit are good background.
Among the new generation of grief tenders, my friend Alexandra Ahlay Blakely. Some Bellingham friends of mine, Brian, Traesti, and Jessi interviewed Ahlay on their podcast a while back. I think Ahlay speaks to the African connection.
It’s hard to find info on Malidoma and Sobonfu as they passed about 5-10 years ago. Some YouTubes I’ve found:
Grieftender Alyssa Ackerman on the connection between grief and belonging (TEDx)
What is a grief ritual?
A grief ritual is a community gathering that builds resiliency and belonging through a shared encounter with individual and collective grief. These events are based on traditional rituals and gatherings from around the world, and are grounded in the widely held traditional wisdom that people who cry together, stay together, and that it is unhealthy for individuals and communities to bottle up or deny grief.
At these events, the encounter with grief is conducted through the universal human practice of ritual. Ritual is employed for its unique ability to transform a group of individuals into a collective—A much more resilient expression of humanity than the solitary individual. Resilience is further expanded through ritual’s other great advantage—Its ability to harness “more than human” aid such as natural, ancestral, or spiritual resources.
It is the combination of community and ritual that allows participants to grapple with aspects of the human experience that are too overwhelming for any one individual to process alone (such as grief and loss).
Facilitators/Events – Western US
An informal west coast event list
Pacific Northwest – Washington, Oregon
Alexandra Blakely, Seattle Area
Siena Tenisci/Northwest Grief Tenders, Seattle Area
Sacred Groves/Bainbridge Island WA (Therese Charvet & Tere Carranza)
Jordan Lyon (Jordan’s event host page) – Seattle area grief tender who is also connected to the Grieving Man project (below).
Grieving Man — Men’s grief rituals in the Seattle area. Join the Grieving Man mailing list to receive event notifications.
Regular grief circles with Rebecca Mullins (zoom and Seattle)
Grief events with Death Dancer/Jennie Banks (talking groups, art events, and more) — Olympia
The Alliance for Common Ground / Evan Wagoner, Olympia (that’s me)
Nico Kladis, men’s grief tender, rites of passage, Port Townsend WA area
Micaela and Jen, Deeper Currents, Bellingham WA (grief circles and rituals)
Peter Jabin, Cristina Manzoni, Reve Shannon (Vashon Island)
Ecstatic Heart Brotherhood Men’s grief ritual in Portland, OR (email Taj at taj@transformativerelations.com for more information)
Alyssa Rose, grief tender, Portland, OR area
California
Josh Lowe, grief rituals, Santa Cruz CA
Francis Weller and team, grief rituals and trainings, SF Bay Area/National
Coby Liebman, grief rituals, SF Bay Area
More to come!
Contact me for more info, or to send me links, resources for this list.
Evan Wagoner-Lynch 